How to become a calm parent?

How to deal with anger?

damaging is phrases like, "You're driving me crazy," "I want you to strangle," "It would be better if you were not born," and also: "Shut up!" "Calm down!", "Stopwhining, "" Control yourself! ".All these words sound harsh and insulting, and we need to meet our need for revenge or resentment spilling over and not to solve the problem.Your anger - instant response and not deliberate.Does he?Of course anger helps to relieve stress, to express their grievances, which do not give us rest, but we only briefly feel better.As a result, we still always regret his words.Our attacking force children to take protective measures: to shout back, hysterical, crying.All this is very tiring children, reduce their self-esteem and problem leads to a deadlock - later correct a child's behavior is not so easy.

Learn Children, when we criticize them?

In order to avoid the next time your anger, the children will try at all costs to please you, to lie, to throw his rationalizations misconduct,

etc.The child has to learn to analyze the external factors: our mood, the recent events, the expression of our face - to understand what was expected of us waiting.Constructive ways of expressing anger embody the goal is to give the children understand that what they are doing bothers us.One way to achieve the goal - "approach in four steps."

1. Tell about your anger.This should be done loudly, but not vindictive or dismissive tone and breaking into a shout: "Now I am very angry with you!".

2. Tell me why you are angry.Try to include one of the basic emotions of anger: pain or fear."I'm upset that you went through just washed the floor in muddy boots.It makes me sad that you care about my work.I tried all day to clean the house clean. "

3. Tell me, what do you expect from children."I do not want you to do so.Help me keep the house clean and tidy. "

4. Ask about realized Children."Is that understood?" Or "Do you agree with this?ยป


There are other phrases that replace hurtful cries.For example, instead of "Shut up!" When the child is trying to say something, you can try the following:

  • explanation: "I can not listen and talk at the same time";
  • argument: "One of us will now need to leave the room because I can not concentrate on the conversation, when I was interrupted";
  • put his finger to his lips and firmly say, "I say";
  • statement: "I interrupted again."
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